Nora hefted another box of books into the back of her truck. A stiff wind blew through the clear blue sky. Nora pulled her coat around her tighter to stop the chilled wind from stealing her warmth but more importantly to stop it from reminding her of the approach of winter. She removed a maple leaf from the truck bed.
“Got enough books, sweetie?” asked her father, setting down another box of books.
“I think so,” Nora checked an item off her clipboard, “I wanted to include everything a beginner would need to take care of a dam but I had no idea it would be this much.”
“It’s the curse of knowledge, dear,” Nick kissed her on the forehead.
Nora hugged her father in return.
“So you’ll be out for three days?”
“Three or four. Be careful while I’m gone.”
“Same goes for you. If you’re not back by the fifth day and I don’t hear anything from you on the CB radio, I’m going to come looking for you.”
“With the gun, Dad?”
Nick’s expression showed that he wasn’t joking.
“Please don’t.”
“Just come back safe or ring me if you will be delayed, or need help.”
“It’ll be fine, Dad.”
“Of course,” said Nick, “drive safe.”
Nora could see the clouds of dust and chaff rising into the sky long before the Clemson house poked over the horizon. As she got closer, she could see a dozen or so people gathered on the front porch who cheered and raised glasses as she pulled into the driveway. “Looks like I came at a good time,” thought Nora as she opened the door. As usual she was swarmed before she could close the door, however this time Soren was at the front of the crowd. Over the last several months, Soren had warmed bit by bit to the idea of leaving with her, however he still held some reservations which Nora hoped to excise on this extra long visit. Briefly, her father’s warning and piercing stare came to her mind but were soon dispelled as Soren hugged her.
“Soren,” said Nora, “you smell really good, what happened?”
“I happened,” Dawn elbowed her way to the front of the crowd, “I found some really nice soap one day and forced Soren to use it today.”
“Sis,” Soren caught Dawn by the wrist and struggled to stop her from tousling his hair, “you keep pushing this narrative that you’re the only reason I ever get clean, which is funny, but it’s not true.”
“You’re right,” said Dawn, “it’s hilarious. How’re you doing girl?” She hugged Nora, “don’t worry, I saved some for you too.”
“Hello sweetheart,” Julie emerged from the crowd, lifting Nora up with a hug. “We have a lot of fun stuff planned for you.”
“For me?”
“Well for everyone.” Julie set Nora down next to Soren, “the harvest is taking care of itself at this point thanks to the machines you fixed up. It is for that reason—“ Julie drew a whistle from her apron pocket. Everyone in the crowd stopped talking and stared at the silver tube like dogs expecting a treat. She blew into the whistle a coded series of shrill blasts: end of chores. Everyone began to chatter and ambled off into every direction.
Nora watched the crowd scatter with relief. She turned to Soren, grabbing his hands. “What do you want to do honey?”
“Uhh well,” Soren scratched the back of his head.
“Let’s get hammered!” Dawn crashed into their circle, “we have wine and a bunch of beer from this year’s crop.”
“I don’t want to get drunk for my last visit.”
“Come on, Soren made this batch with you in mind.”
“Dawn!” complained Soren.
“Well, I’ll try some this evening maybe,” Nora turned back to Soren, “sorry you got cut off.”
“Yeah, I was going to say that there was some stuff I wanted to finish up in the greenhouse.”
“You’re actually working during a free day?” Dawn was staggered, “geez you guys were made for each other.”
Nora removed another layer of clothing as she watched Soren prune a towering tomato plant. The colder weather had made the stuffy greenhouse a much more pleasant place to be. Amorphous blobs of color ran back and forth across the warped glass walls.
“So what do you want to do?” Soren moved a basket of tomatoes.
“Well right now, I want to get you and your mom together to talk about transferring some of the books of the Silverton library to you.” Nora nervously folded her sweater and placed it neatly on her lap. She was relishing their quality time and didn’t want to spoil it with talk even tangential to her departure.
“Books?”
“Yeah for taking care of the dam.”
“Oh, that.”
“This sure is a lot of books,” said Dawn, dropping her box on top of another box of books, “are these all necessary for the… thing?”
“Probably,” said Ian, shelving books into a large set of shelves. He was unusually well behaved that evening. Nora wondered what Julie did or said to him to instill such compliance.
“Well, many of these books you will only need a chapter or two,” Nora climbed down the stepladder to receive a stack of books from Soren. “So the actual material you will need to concern yourself with is much less.”
“Tell that to Mom,” Dawn tossed an empty box over her shoulder into a pile in the middle of the room.
Nora had a strange feeling about the bare room. It was next to Soren’s room and was completely unfurnished except for three walls of impressive floor to ceiling bookshelves and a spacious writing desk. She realized that it was quite similar to her ideal bedroom/office.
Julie entered the room carrying two boxes of books on her shoulders which she gently set down.
“This is quite a generous gift you’ve given us,” she looked at the partially filled bookshelf, “I just worry we won’t be able to make full use of it.” She tightly clasped her hands over her apron in anticipation.
“Yes I thought it was quite formidable too,” Nora dug through her bag, producing a tabloid sized piece of paper. She smoothed it out on the desk. “Which is why I decided to visualize the relationships between each book in terms of dependencies and overlaps in one comprehensive diagram.”
The sheet of paper contained a dense tree with arrows pointing from one book title to the next. She was very proud of the diagram as it took her over a week of drafting to figure out how to arrange the hundred or so books and their nearly combinatorial dependencies in a legible format.
Unfortunately, the diagram was more intimidating than she thought. Julie blinked several times as if she had just seen an alien. Dawn was wide eyed.
“A little too comprehensive if you ask me,” she said. She made for the bookshelf having figured out which task she wanted to do more.
“Well this is quite something,” said Julie. She took a deep breath before reaching for Dawn. “Dawn, be a dear and learn from Nora how to use her… thing.”
“Wait why me? I’m like the last—”
“I need to go outside for some fresh air.”
“Oh, okay Mom.”
Dawn and Nora watched Julie leave the room and then briskly walk out the back door on the floor below and before disappearing into the cornfield.
“Is it that bad?” asked Nora, smoothing a corner of the sheet.
“Probably worse,” said Dawn.
“Well it wasn’t my intention, I just wanted to help you feel more confident about learning all this stuff, because it is a lot.”
Dawn took a step towards Nora, “I think what would help us all feel more confident was if we had a teacher.”
Nora wanted to shy away, partly because Dawn was good at being imposing, but also because she had a hard time facing Dawn or any of the Clemsons or Pelletiers knowing what was in store for them while keeping them in the dark, and also leaving them when she still believed she could help them if she stayed. However, she remained where she was and let Dawn enter her personal space, reminding herself what she believed in. The idea that she could save them, or the ideas Dawn was espousing, was short term thinking which at the end of the day serves no one.
“We can’t all have teachers even when we need them,” Nora looked Dawn in the eyes. “Anyways, we should start with the mathematics branch of the tree first—”
Dawn slapped Nora on the back, “hold it right there sister. I hate to admit it, but Soren is better at processing this sort of stuff than I am, so let me get him.”
Dawn went to the bookshelf and swapped jobs with Soren. “What’s up? Whoa, is this the diagram that scared Mom?”
“Yes,” said Nora, “but I can break it down.”
“Alright, I believe in you,” he said, “however let me get us some chairs”
“Okay, I think I finally get it all,” said Soren. He scanned Nora’s diagram trying to find any parts he didn’t at least partially understand while holding his head up by the temples. Finally he leaned his chair back letting out a long sigh.
“Are you okay honey?,” Nora was extra conscious of his exhaustion.
“Yeah, I’m good,” he let himself fall forward, “I keep telling Dawn this, but the brain is like a muscle, it gets stronger the more you use it.” He looked at Nora, “but unlike physical strength, people can end up really far apart from each other in terms of mental strength. It’s really inspiring.”
Nora put her hands on Soren’s broad shoulders, “well I think you have nice muscles, of both kinds.”
Soren’s gaze drifted toward the ceiling as his cheeks reddened. “Thanks,” he said, “uh, you too.” Nora couldn’t help but smile. Although happy in the moment, deeper down existed a profound discomfort. Why was she explaining her critical diagram to the person she most hoped to take with her to Altaria? Was the idea for him to explain it to someone else? Who would that person be? She wasn’t sure if there was such a person. She wondered if Soren had also thought about the contradiction. Maybe he took it as a sign that she planned on staying. Nora couldn’t help but wonder if Dawn selected Soren simply because he was closest.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a clanging sound.
“Dinner must be ready,” Soren got up, “I hope you’re ready for something special.”
A series of tables were arranged in the shape of a large C in the dining hall. It was apparent that Julie and her helpers had once again went all out with the preparations. Pumpkins and garlands adorned the spaces between the platters of food which perfumed the air. The space was warmly lit by some recently recovered incandescent lamps. Seating was arranged. Circling around the table, Nora noted that, with some exceptions, the Clemsons were seated on the outside of the ring, while the Pelletiers were seated on the inside with well known crushes being seated across from each other. At the ends of the C were heads of households for the two families.
Nora noted that her seat was on the outside of the C. To her right sat Soren, Julie, and Mrs. Pelletier. To her left sat Dawn who frequently made eye contact with Terry seated across from her. Once everyone was seated, Julie stood up.
“I know everyone can’t wait to eat their dinner, so I will keep this brief. It just makes me so happy to have all of us, Clemsons, Pelletiers, and Silvertons here together. I think the bounty of this year shows us that, if we stick together and all do our part, we will not only survive on this weary but blessed planet, but also thrive on it.”
“Hear, hear!” The rest of the diners raised their glasses.
“Wow there are so many options,” Nora surveyed the various platters.
“Kind of hard to choose?” asked Soren.
“Who said you had to choose?” said Dawn between bites.
“Sweetie, don’t talk with your mouth full,” Julie placed a dish in front of Nora, “you should definitely try the shepherd’s pie.”
“I think my tofu curry turned out especially well this year,” Soren allowed himself the slight boast.
“You can’t go wrong with stuffing,” Dawn shunted Soren’s platter to the side.
“The beef stew—“ Terry brought over a pot.
“Terry, start with the greens!” Mrs. Pelletier produced a green bean casserole.
“Guys, I can’t eat that much,” protested Nora.
“Hm, you still don’t have to choose,” Dawn placed a spoonful of stuffing on Nora’s plate.
Recognizing that the game had been changed, the others moved to place their recommendations on Nora’s plate. Nora tried to parry various tongs, ladles, and spoons in defense of her plate but soon ended up with a laden plate and bowl.
“How do some people find this sort of attention enjoyable?” wondered Nora as she organized her plate.
With some help from Soren and Dawn, Nora was able to finish her personal feast and relax a bit.
“So,” Julie poured some wine into Nora’s glass, “how are you enjoying yourself tonight?”
“Everything has been wonderful,” Nora took a sip, “you’ve really outdone yourself this year.”
“Oh well I had help,” said Julie.
“Of course, but it’s clear that this level of plenty was a result of your organization throughout the year and I think that you will thrive on Earth as you said tonight.” Nora felt a flash of guilt from pretending that the drying river wasn’t a thing. She hoped that her face didn’t show it.
“You know,” Julie took on a more serious tone, “when I said how glad I was to have Clemsons, Pelletiers, and Silvertons gathered tonight, I really wanted to say that I was most glad that you, Nora Silverton, were here.”
“Oh! Well I’m flattered.”
“You should be proud of yourself! This year you saved three vehicles from being scrapped, helped Soren breed an incredible tomato plant, designed a theater that we’ve now built, and operated the sluice gates during that storm to stop the dam from overflowing.”
“It sounds quite special when you put it that way,” Nora’s face felt hot but she wasn’t sure if it was from the praise or mention of the dam.
“Honey, forgive me if this is out of the blue, but what do you want to do with your life?” asked Julie.
Nora’s fork froze mid-air, “um, I’m not sure what you mean.”
“What I mean is that whatever you choose to do with your life, not only are you sure to do it, you will do it very well, that is the sort of person you’ve become.” Julie folded her napkin, “so I’m just interested in how you decide you will change the world.”
Nora took a moment to consider her response. However, despite coming from her college application, her words felt cheap and inadequate compared to the emotional investment within Julie’s question.
“I really just want to help as many people as possible,” said Nora, “and planetary engineering seemed to be the best way to do that. I’m sure you know about the loss of the first colonies, hundreds of millions of people, dead and many more disappeared. It would be great if that never happened again.”
“I thought you would say something like that. It’s very much like you,” said Julie, “I was wondering if you would consider doing that for Earth.”
Although Nora was expecting a pitch at some point, she found herself not knowing how to respond. She glanced at Soren. He seemed as unsure as her.
“Now I know you won’t have all the fancy equipment that you would have working for the Americana government, nor would you be saving quite as many people,” said Julie, raising a hand, “but think, you are the only person who could possibly take on this task, everyone else has left. You would also be working face to face with the people you are helping rather than be trapped in a stuffy office. And although you won’t have the factories and labs of the old world, you can use anything you can reach and fix, and I would gladly lend you all the helpers you need, we have no shortage of food. It would be a bit more challenging for sure, but I think in a fun way.”
Nora stared hard at the center of the table. Normally Julie made her appeals to Nora through kindness and love, but this time she was making a proposal to intellect and ambition. She could feel her thoughts being swayed, floating around her head spinning narratives about how all her fantasies could be granted and passions sated with one brave choice. Perhaps she could convince her father…
“Let me think about it,” Nora said out of habit. Upon finishing that sentence, her mind snapped to. The threads were pulled taut and various fantastic narratives crashed to the ground.
“Of course dear,” Julie put her hand on Nora’s, “take your time, but do let me know as soon as you’ve made up your mind.”