B2C3

Dinner was more relaxed as everyone was allowed to simply pick up their plate and eat wherever they liked save for the carpeted areas. To Dawn’s delight, they did not have pasta but instead their more traditional mashed potatoes, tofu, corn, and grilled eggplants. Dinner was also much quicker since it was followed by quick housekeeping chores. Nora washed the upstairs windows while Dawn held the ladder steady. Soren had been roped into the kitchen patrol headed by Julie. Thomas and his brothers left the house to walk a loop around the property.

As soon as everyone finished their chores, they were finally free to do as they wanted. Some went to their rooms to read or draw. A bunch gathered around the TV to play the next football game from the 2047-2109 football archive. Others sat around and played cards or simply talked. Nora, Soren, Dawn, and Ian decided to set up a game of Settlers of the Cosmos (house rules) on the floor of the furnished attic.

After about two hours their game was nearing its close. Nora commanded a healthy lead with her empire of forests, quarries, ports, cities, factories, and a space elevator while Soren and Dawn vied for second place. 

With a seven, Dawn pulled ahead by placing the alien raid token on Nora’s city, robbing her of her only uranium resource card. Nora retaliated during Soren’s turn by sending him enough wood for him to build another settlement to block Dawn’s expansion. 

“Alright, your turn to roll, babe,” Soren handed Nora the dice.

Nora tossed the dice into an empty chips bowl. Six.

“Let’s see,” said Nora, “that’s eleven wood, three ore, one crude oil, and a quartzite.” Nora removed the blanket that was wrapped around her and Soren and started to rearrange pieces on the board. “I’m going to use my factory to turn the ore into metal and then exchange my wood for a uranium at the space elevator. With that I will build a city--”

“Oh my god just take your turn!” cried Ian. 

“Sorry some of us have things to do on our turn,” said Nora 

Ian opened his mout to say something but then closed it and crossed his arms instead.

“What’s up with that Pelletier girl you like?” asked Dawn.

“You mean Monica, Terry’s kid sister?” said Ian.

Dawn snorted.

“What was that aobut?” demanded Ian.

“Way out of your league,” replied Dawn.

“Dawn, don’t” said Soren wearily.

Dawn shrugged, “just being honest.”

Nora listened to their conversation as she took her turn. Monica worked in foraging like Dawn but instead of gathering parts and materials, she took apart found items to extract things like oil or straight metal beams. Since she worked in the main workshop, Nora ran into her often when she needed to borrow a special tool or to machine a part on the mill or more lately to fix the mill. Despite that, they weren’t very close friends, perhaps due to their few years age difference.

“Well despite all that,” summarized Ian, “Terry says that he thinks we would be happy if we were together.”

“Oh yeah,” said Dawn, “I’m sure that wins you a lot of points in her book. You almost done there?”

“Yeeaahh,” said Nora as she added up the points in her head, “and I’m pretty sure I just won.”

“Great,” Ian threw his cards, “why the hell did I stay here? I’m getting some pie.”

“Get us all some too!” called Dawn after him.

“You can get your own damn slice!” he shouted as he stomped down the stairs.

After a full day of being overstimulated by the Clemsons, Nora found Soren’s room to be a welcome spot of calm. Jewel toned pillows and cushions had colonized every seat in the room, seemingly spawning from the pile of cushions in one of the corners. Many pictures and drawings by Soren were framed and hung from the walls, a bit too many of them featured Nora for her to not feel a tad embarrassed. It was the best smelling room in the whole house, apart from the kitchen, due to the flowers Soren kept and and always freshly laundered linens. Plants flourished on the windowsill by Soren’s desk while the spare desk usually had a berry muffin and some new textbook.

“Sometimes I forget that blueberry muffin used to be my favorite food,” said Nora brushing her hair, “it’s nice to know that your mother hasn’t.”

“Is the book at least useful this time?” Soren scribbled in his diary.

“Inverse Kinematics for Manufacturing Applications,” said Nora, checking both sides of the faded and water stained book, “not much manufacturing happening nowadays but I suppose this can be useful for some of the farm robots down here.”

“You know Mom really loves you and doesn’t just want you for your knowledge?” said Soren. Nora wandered her way to Soren’s desk.

“Watcha writing, honey?” she suddenly leaned over Soren’s shoulder.

“Nothing interesting.” Soren snapped the book closed, “can’t a man have some secrets?”

She turned away and looked at her feet.

“Sorry to pry. My curiosity got the better of me I guess.”

“It’s okay,” said Soren, “it’s one of the things I like about you.” 

“I like that about you too,” they traded a kiss.

Nora stood behind Soren’s chair, clasped her hands over his chest, and looked at the ceiling. “I won’t look this time, promise. I just want to be right here at this moment. Look, I’ll take off my glasses too.”

“You don’t have to do that, I know a promise from you is basically a prediction of the future.” He placed his hand over Nora’s as he finished his journal entry.

“What do you mean when you say your mom ‘really loves’ me?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. You know she sees you as her own, but it’s actually more than that. She sees herself in you, especially what she could have been. Like you, Mom is very curious and has a lot of energy, but unlike you, she never had the opportunity to do intellectual exploration. Her family leaned on her a lot when she was growing up due to her energy which meant she didn’t go to college or even have much time for visiting the library. So in a way, when she gives you a textbook, she hopes it’s interesting to you but at the same time, it helps her fulfill long expired wishes.”

Nora let out a long exhale, “I feel blessed but also at the same time a lot of pressure and I apologize.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Soren squeezed her hand, “I can imagine it is stressful to be the object of so much attention. But they can’t help it, they love you because you remind them of Mom. I love you because you remind me of Mom.”

“Hey is this some Oedipal complex you’re trying to tell me about?” jested Nora.

“I’m being serious, Nora.” Soren closed his journal and stood up. Nora let her arms slide off of his shoulders.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” Nora giggled, “but I think I’m starting to see your point.” She followed Soren to the bed. She thought about what Dawn said to her earlier about how she looked to both Julie and Nora to solve their problems. She immediately arrived at the thought that the reason the family loved her like they loved Julie was because they looked to her to succeed as matriarch. Everyone knew that without Julie, the farm would not have survived as long as it had. She pushed that idea away, ashamed of herself for thinking it. She hung up her robe before slipping into the bed, then sidled up to Soren and placed her head on his chest to hear his heartbeat. Soren stroked her hair in return.

“Ready to have the talk?” said Soren softly.

Nora took a deep breath before replying. “Yes. I guess I should start with the inciting incident. After leaving you in the green house, I went to help Terry and Ian repair the harvester. They were asking me about you and I, how we met, what we went to school for, et cetera. I let slip that I wanted to finish my education on Altaria, and then Ian pounced on that. He said stuff about you, about how you would never leave your home, and that it would destroy who you are to do so.”

“I like to think that I can survive away from home, even on another planet,” said Soren.

Nora looked Soren in the eyes. “I know you can,” she said, squeezing his hand. “At that point, I kind of blew up on him, and that’s where I said that my plan was still to leave Earth.” Nora broke eye contact to let her eyes wander about the room as she continued, “I then stormed off for the corn fields where I cooled down, during which time Ian must have told the adults what had happened. When I came back to the house, everyone was in a rout and Julie was so anxious about the news that she would have crushed me with her attention if I didn’t run off to you. But that’s not really what’s been eating away at my mind.”

“Oh no, something eating at your mind?”

“Something is always eating away at my mind.” Nora put her arms around Soren, “back in the green house, I asked if you planned on staying, and you hesitated. Why didn’t you answer right away? Are you not sure in your decision?”

“Well um.”

Nora could feel her heart rise with every second. The longer he took, the more complicated his answer would be, was her unvetted logic. Anything more complex than “I actually plan on staying 100%” had to be better.

“Well, I paused because I was debating in my head whether replying quickly would hurt you.” Soren’s heartbeat accelerated.

Meanwhile Nora felt her heart plummet as well as a pressure inside her psyche resulting from having nowhere to direct her outrage towards from being deceived since Soren categorically did not lie. In the back of her mind she knew that the deceiver was herself. Nora hugged Soren tighter as she felt her breathing become fitful, as if doing so would stop them from being separated by trillions of miles in a few month’s time. Soren’s heart was in full panic mode.

“That doesn’t mean that I’ve completely made up my mind,” stammered Soren, hugging her in an attempt to calm her.

“Really?” Nora looked up at Soren. She felt her heart soaring again upon being fed the smallest crumb of hope.

“Y-yeah,” Soren’s heart beat faster.

Immediately, Nora realized that she was disconnecting herself from reality. She knew Soren was an especially sensitive person, it was another thing she liked about him, but it also meant that he could tell when she was upset and usually by what as well. She had made it abundantly clear in the past few minutes what she was upset about, and now Soren had offered a token statement that her mind transformed into what she wanted to hear. She snapped her eyes shut, burying her face into Soren’s rough chest, letting a few tears fall and squeezing him again.

“I’m sorry babe,” whispered Soren, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

“Why though?” said Nora between sniffles, “why can’t you leave? What keeps you here? Your family? The house? Earth’s blue skies?”

“No,” said Soren, “I would certainly miss all of those things but it’s more of a fear that keeps me grounded.”

“What do you mean?” Nora’s curiosity temporarily silenced the tempest in her mind.

“When I contemplate the question of leaving, which I do occasionally, I feel like I’m standing on a cliff overlooking a black abyss, and to leave would be to take a step forward, and that, frankly, is terrifying.”

“What if I was standing there with you?” Nora held Soren’s hand to her chest.

“Then I feel like I could take the first steps,” said Soren after some thought.

It felt like a bomb of joy had just gone off inside of Nora’s psyche and her body was just barely able to contain it. The energy left her body in the form of tight hugging and rapid kissing.

“Hey,” Soren put up a weak resistance, “I didn’t say I would leave.”

“I know,” said Nora between kisses, “but that means a lot to me.” She settled down next to Soren, but also beside herself. She could feel Soren’s heart purring as well.

Nora heard a scruff followed by the sound of the door’s deadbolt banging against the door jamb.

“We’re being listened to again,” observed Soren, propping himself up on his elbows, “you’re not going to chase them off?”

“Let them listen,” Nora pulled Soren back down, “let’s go to sleep.”

Nora was in high spirits as she replaced the squeaky panel in the back seat of her truck. As if to reflect her state of mind, the sun shone bright. Julie, Soren, Dawn, Thomas and others were taking turns to put various gifts into the back of her truck. Most of the rest of the family was gathered on the long porch of the Clemson house as if she was going to be gone for 10 years instead of 10 days. Nora slotted her screwdriver into her toolbag and stashed it under the middle seat before hopping out to say goodbye.

“Need help packing?” asked Nora.

“Oh no, we are just about done,” said Julie, “we have the usual: potatoes, beans, and corn, as well as the things you asked for: the candles, computer parts, bread, and screws. Oh but we also included some special treats for you.”

“Ah yes, that explains the inordinate number of pies.” Nora scratched her head as she inspected the truck bed.

“Yes and the blueberries, raspberries, and apples,” added Julie. She clasped her hands over her apron, smiling and looking expectantly at Nora.

Nora understood that Julie was still on edge from the fiasco the day before and that she was also unaware of her and Soren’s conversation and thus was hoping to get some positive reaction to ease her mind. Unfortunately, Nora was a terrible actor and felt put on the spot to give a genuine reaction when she had none.

“Soren picked those berries you know,” said Dawn, tossing a bag of computer parts into the bed and eliciting the unmistakable snap of a circuit board breaking. “Oops,” she said, more amused than worried.

“Oh!” Nora’s face brightened, “then I’ll bet they’re extra good.”

“Oh yes,” Julie breathed a sigh of relief, “and he grew them too.”

Dawn closed the tailgate and leaned against the back of the truck, “yeah, and if you gather a bunch of berries in your hand and smell them really hard, you can catch a lovely trace scent of Soren’s dirty, half-washed ha—”

Julie picked up Dawn and draped her over her shoulder, “that’s enough out of you, sunshine.”

“Mom!” Dawn beat her hands on Julie’s back like a child, “it’s an inside joke, put me down!”

Julie bent her knees slightly and held her other arm out to Nora, “do drive safe, okay?”

“I will, thank you for everything,” Nora hugged Jullie. Soren booped his sister on the nose as he came up for his hug. Nora hugged him tightly for several moments then gave him a quick kiss. Julie’s eyes went wide and the family members on the porch started to gossip amongst themselves. Nora gave a quick wave goodbye to Mr. Clemson, hopped into her truck, and drove away before they could swarm her for questions.

Nora hummed to herself as she drove down the long driveway.

“That was a dumb move,” she thought to herself, but for now she wasn’t too concerned with the consequences for her next visit.

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