Embedded Files
Nora strolled through the corn fields, using the tall stalks to reflect in privacy.
“I lost my temper back there, that much is clear. I shouldn’t have snapped. Poor Ian, he’s at that age where he doesn’t fully know what he’s doing. Doubtless he’s going to tell everyone else and that will cause even more problems later today. Why did I snap though? I normally stay calm when antagonized.”
“Well, it’s probably because he said some things that you really don’t like but know to be true. At some point you will have to deal with that.”
“If only there was someone I could talk to about it. But everyone I know is dead set against or for leaving. Soren is the closest to neutral but he is also at the center of all this. I could try journaling my thoughts to get an objective look at them.”
“But you’re also afraid of what you’ll find.”
As soon as Nora was within earshot of the main farmhouse, she could tell that the cat was out of the bag. All of the elders, heads of households, and any other pants-wearers were attempting to reach a consensus on a course of action but everyone else was trying to get their opinion or question heard. A child seated on the front porch was seemingly indifferent to the commotion but went inside as soon as she spotted Nora.
As she got closer, people poured out of the house
“Out everyone, out!” shouted Julie, “get back to your chores, lunch is still a half hour away. Oh hello, Nora! Come on inside, you must be exhausted.”
“I’m quite fine,” said Nora, letting Julie drag her into the house until she was practically placed onto a stool facing the kitchen.
“How are you feeling dear?” said Julie as she dashed around the kitchen
Nora hunched her shoulders out of a desire to be smaller. “Still quite fine. A little sun and dust never hurt anyone.”
“Is there anything you would like to eat?” Julie carefully poured a massive pot of pasta into a colander, temporarily filling the kitchen and adjoining rooms with steam.
“No I am not hungry right now,” said Nora, “that was part of being… fine.”
“Oh of course,” said Julie, “is there anything you would like? Anything at all?”
“Can you tell me where Soren is?” Nora just wanted to escape from the intense attention.
“Certainly!” Julie ran to the whiteboard in the adjoining room. She quickly scanned it to see where Soren was expected to be in the morning.
“He is in the main greenhouse, sweetie.”
“Thank you!” Nora jogged out of the house.
The inside of the main greenhouse was lush and humid. Its glass walls gave the outside world a distant appearance as well as a sense of shelter. The air smelled of water and petrichor. All of the soil and greenery ate any inkling of an echo, furthering a sense of privacy. Soren was busy measuring the moisture of each tomato plot, occasionally using his watering can on the dry plots.
“Hey Nora, did you fix the—”
Nora silently hugged him and buried her face in his chest.
“Is something the matter?”
“I’m starving,” she looked up at him, “can I have your granola bar?”
“Sure.” Soren drew a baggie out of his overalls pocket, “it’s a little crushed but it was made this morning. If you want, Mom would be glad to make you something—”
“No,” said Nora, “the family is all riled up right now. If I said I was hungry to anyone but you, I would probably be buried in a mountain of food” She sat down on some bags of soil and took a large bite out of the granola bar. Maple flavored.
Nora covered her mouth as she continued, “I lost my temper with one of your cousins.”
“What did he say to you?”
“Things about leaving.”
“Ah.”
“Honestly, I think part of it was me being hangry.” Nora took another bite, “but the rest of it was…”
Soren sat down next to her, “do you want to talk about it tonight?”
“No,” said Nora, “but yeah, let’s do that.” She took a deep breath before finishing the last of her granola bar. She leaned her head on his shoulder.
Nora hiccuped.
“Do you want a glass of water?”
“I want another granola bar, today’s batch is fantastic.”
“I’d have to go into the house to get it.”
“Forget it,” said Nora. She sat up, “what are you working on? Optimizing tomato growing?”
“Yeah,” Soren looked at all of the tomato plots he had left to check, ”Mom’s latest obsession is Mediterranean stuff.”
“Like pasta?”
“Pasta, fish, music, art, architecture, philosophy,” Soren wiped his brow, “we found an old bookstore on a foraging run and she brought home a bunch of books about that area and has been reading them instead of sleeping.”
“I don’t know how your mom does it.”
“You don’t have to,” he put his hands on his hips and puffed his chest ‘just stay out of her way,’ my dad says.” He fiddled with the hydrometer, “I think she is one of those people who would have traveled a lot before the Decline.”
“You know,” said Nora, “they’re setting up an interplanetary travel network centered on Altaria, if we all take the shuttle the galaxy is—”
“Babe,” said Soren, getting up.
“Alright,” said Nora.
“What are you going to do now?” he asked, returning to poking each plot with the hydrometer.
“I’m not sure,” said Nora, “I just know I don’t want to be in the house more than I have to.”
“Well you could probably just stay here until lunch,” said Soren, “but you should ask Mom about her special project.”
“I don’t want to risk being trapped in the house again.”
“You won’t be, I promise.” Soren tipped his watering can upside down. “She can’t refuse an offer from someone to indulge her in her Roma-mania. I won’t say much else other than that you’ll need a hard hat.”
“I do like the sound of that.”
The bell at the top of the Clemson house ripped the air as it clanged, cutting through the excited chatter of dozens of family members as they jostled their way into the recently finished dining hall. Multiple tables were set up with Julie directing family members to their respective tables using a list that only she knew. Soren and Nora found themselves at a small table for four tucked away in the glass corner of the hall that looked over the driveway.
“I feel awkward when she tries this hard.” Nora examined the table settings.
“I think more people will be joining.” Soren stretched his arms over his head.
“Where is the Magpie team?” called Thomas from the head of the main table.
“They must still be out in the city,” said Julie, hoisting up a trio of toddlers, “they should be coming back any minute now.” She set the children down at one of the kids’ tables.
Nora looked out the window to see two pickups and a long stake bed truck pull in, each laden with crates of scrappable parts as well as yards of lumber. They had scarcely come to a halt before all doors opened and the riders hurried to the dining hall.
“So sorry for not helping with the table setting, Mom,” one of the foragers puffed, hands on her knees, “there was a lot of lumber in the place we checked out but the building it was in was partially collapsed and—“
“That’s fine Dawn,” Julie put her hand on the forager’s shoulder, “now be a dear and go sit over with Soren and Nora, don’t worry about serving today.”
“Oh, okay!” Dawn breathed a sigh of relief and strolled towards their table.
“Hey Dawn,” Nora got up from her chair.
“Nora!” Dawn tightly hugged Nora, “I like the bun, you should do that more.”
“‘Sup, bro?” she rustled Soren’s hair before sitting down.
“Wash your hands before you do that, sis,” Soren complained, slouching his shoulders.
“Sure,” said Dawn. She grabbed Soren by the wrist, “and while I’m at it, how about I show you how to clean under your fingernails? Come on!”
Nora giggled as she watched Soren be dragged away. They paused their march for a moment for Julie to say something to them.
Shortly they returned, taking their seats on either side of Nora. At the same time, a younger family member walked by, dropping off a large bowl of pasta.
“I’m getting kind of tired of pasta,” said Dawn, serving herself.
“Well there won’t be much more of it, unless I can find the tomato growing sweet spot,” Soren served himself before passing the tongs to Nora.
“So it seems I have you to thank for being off the hook for the rest of the day. What did you do?” Dawn pointed a fork at Nora.
“Basically I got mad at Ian and said some things about leaving that I shouldn’t have,” Nora transported less than half of the spaghetti remaining into her bowl.
Dawn laughed, “Ian’s biggest problem is that he thinks he’s way smarter than he is. I wouldn’t sweat anything he says.”
“I know, I know,” said Nora.
“But actually,” Dawn looked Nora in the eyes, “why are you still of two minds about staying? You’d be set here. Everyone here loves you as their own, pretty sure Mom loves you more than even us. The whole world is literally yours in a way. You’ll get to marry this himbo.” She rustled Soren’s hair again. “Hey my hands are clean this time,” she said before Soren could protest. “All you have to do is use that genius brain of yours to fix the really tough problems we occasionally have on the farm.”
Soren smiled, proud on Nora’s behalf.
Nora just looked at her food.
“Anyway,” Dawn pushed away from the table and leaned back, “I’m sure you knew all that. What do you want to do for the rest of the day?”
“I want to help out with whatever your mom’s special project is.”
“Ugh, but that’s work.”
“But I want to work,” said Nora, “it’s what feels right, especially as I have a feeling that you all are going to be sending me home with a lot more food than usual. Look, I get that having no chores for half the day is a rare treat, so I’d be more than okay with you just providing moral support.”
“Alright that sounds like a deal.”
“You want to help with the theater? That makes me so happy!” Julie smushed together Nora and Dawn in an embrace. “I just knew that you of all people would understand that this is worth doing. This is actually good timing because I’ve just realized that theaters aren’t as simple to design as houses.”
Without missing a beat, she continued, faster now, “you should have seen it, I built a test roof, you know, to verify through experiment, that’s what you always say right? Anyway, I had barely put half of the test weight on it before it caved in, ruining a few pieces of perfectly good lumber. I thought, ‘I need Nora for this.’ And here you are,” she giggled from joy and optimism.
“So we won’t be working outside?” clarified Nora, not looking forward to working in the busy house.
“Not since that experiment no,” said Julie, “you will be working in my cabin if that’s okay. It’s where I keep all of my personal projects.”
“How do we get there?” Nora let out a long exhale.
“It’s only a short way,” Julie rummaged through the cupboards, “you should take the horses.”
“Can I take Pepper?” Nora was unable to contain herself.
“You can take Pepper.”
“Yes!”
“Why don’t I ever get to take Pepper?” Dawn was now paying attention to the conversation.
“Shush, you have your own horse,” said Julie, handing the keys to Nora.
“Hey Pepper, I have a treat for you,” Nora offered an apple to the aged horse. She brushed her mane before checking the saddle and reins. Pepper was dear to the Clemson and Pelletier families due to her peculiar fondness for children, consistently prancing in front of them and gently butting them with her head. Pepper was also the horse she learned to ride on, so it always brought her a mix of joy and anticipated grief each time she saw her now.
A wind blew at Nora and Dawn’s backs as they set out for the cabin. Wheat rustled. A herd of clouds crawled across the sky.
The horses quickly brought Nora and Dawn to Julie’s cabin. Nora removed Pepper’s bit and let her graze before wandering to the other side of the cabin. Beyond the weathered fence was a steep slope that led into the reservoir. That dam provided the Clemsons with a steady flow of electricity that kept the lights on and all of their equipment operational. It also provided them with enough water to irrigate their sizable farm. The Clemsons could not survive without that dam and everyone knew it. Decades past the end of its service life, taking care of the dam had become too complex for any manual to adequately describe and on a couple of occasions Nora had to invent her own solutions. It was by far the most important chore she did for the Clemsons. Formally the agreement between the Silvertons and the Clemsons was one dam inspection every five years plus any emergency attention in exchange for a supply of food for as long as the contact was active. Everything else Nora did for the farm was technically a favor.
“The water level seems a bit low for this time of year,” observed Nora.
“Is it?” Dawn threw a rock into the reservoir.
“Yeah, see the waterlines on the other side?” Nora pointed to the striations of green and brown on the distant bank.
“Sorry, I don’t really pay attention to that sort of stuff,” said Dawn, disinterested.
Nora put her hands on her hips in thought, “maybe I should ask Julie what she’s seen since this is her cabin.”
“I would recommend against it,” Dawn surveyed the clouds, “unless you start off by announcing that you and Soren are getting engaged or something like that, Mom will just get destructively anxious.”
Nora stared at the reservoir.
“Come on,” Dawn patted Nora’s shoulder, “let’s go inside.” Nora let Dawn lead her around the cabin to the door.
The air inside the cabin was damp and cold and lent the space a timeless quality. A thin layer of dust protected the contents of the building and tinted the windows.
“Brr,” Dawn hugged her shoulders, “I’ll go light a fire.” She started to gather paper for tinder and then paused. “You should probably take a look at these before I rip ‘em up and burn them, huh?”
“Yeah, or just use this,” Nora handed her an overflowing wastebasket of crumpled paper.
“Somehow I should have known Mom’s cabin would have this.” They both laughed.
Nora sat herself at the drafting table and began to pour over the drawings.
“No wonder this one failed,” she said to herself. She rolled the drawing up and stashed it away.
As Nora went through Julie’s drawings, Dawn set about scraping the ashes away and stuffing the stove with paper and kindling.
“This one seems like the one,” Nora pulled up a comprehensive drawing of the whole planned theater.
She pinned it to the bulletin board next to the drafting table and smoothed a fresh sheet of paper onto the angled surface. Dawn, having gotten a healthy little fire started, wandered about the cabin.
“So that’s where the Lay-Z-Peep went,” exclaimed Dawn. Nora turned in her stool to see Dawn carrying the massive armchair into the main room.
“What are you doing?” Nora searched for the engineering handbook she knew Julie had.
“I’m moving the chair here.”
Nora sharpened a new pencil, “but why?”
“So I can watch you work.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you brought that chair because you’ll be fast asleep in a minute.”
Dawn laughed as she adjusted the chair’s position in front of the stove. She then disappeared into the kitchenette. Nora set to work redrawing the foundation plan of the playhouse and soon lost track of time.
* * *
“Want some tea?”
Nora turned to see Dawn’s silhouette holding a teacup and a plate of biscuits.
“Where did you get that?” Nora rubbed her wrist, suddenly aware of the pain that it was in.
“From Mom’s secret stash. Come on. Get away from that desk and take a break with me.”
Nora took a seat in a wingback chair facing Dawn and took a moment to savor the aroma of the tea.
As Nora exhaled, she let herself turn into a puddle on the seat cushion.
“How are you so tired?” Dawn laughed, “did you haul a bunch of lumber this morning too?”
“No I didn’t,” said Nora, “I’m not sure why I’m tired, but I do know it happens pretty much everytime I come here recently.”
“That’s because you always play the role of good girl and let everyone pull you every which way.“
“I wish there was a way I could just see Soren and you while also helping out the farm.”
“Just keep the first part, you’re being too much of a good girl with that second part.”
“I guess you’re right,” mumbled Nora. She straightened up, “say, what do you want from life?”
“Me?” Dawn looked around as if there was someone else Nora could be talking to. “Geez, I don’t know.” The gears turned in Dawn’s head. “Have good food, start a family, move into my own house and finally have some privacy?”
“I see.”
“Actually, I’m glad you asked that,” Dawn put her teacup on the cable spool coffee table between them. “What do you want? I just realized that I’ve always assumed that you would want the same things as I do but I know that’s not you.”
“I mean, all the things you mentioned are good,” started Nora, “but I also want to know what’s out there, you know?”
“Totally, I’ve always wanted to take a road trip to the New York reef.”
“I was thinking a bit farther than that actually.”
“You want to travel the stars?” Dawn crossed her arms.
“Yes but not because they’re out in space and all that. I mean, I like you all, even Ian in a way, but I want to be around more people.”
“Like when we were kids?”
“Like before the Collapse.”
“No way,” Dawn waved her hand dismissively. “Have you seen how chaotic our combined household is? And we’re just two families, can you imagine the pandemonium this city would be if every house, no every room, was occupied?”
“It was different back then, people were more organized.”
“I don’t see how they could have done a better job than Mom does.”
“It was complicated and didn’t always work,” admitted Nora.
“I don’t know,” said Dawn, resigned, “maybe you can understand how something like that would work but I can’t.”
Nora wanted to say something. About how it wasn’t that hard and that she just needed to be open minded but she decided to keep it to herself.
Dawn unfolded her arms. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to leave. And honestly, when I look at you, I get a little—I mean, it’s hard to get attention, ah I mean—“
Nora wanted to reach out and comfort Dawn but checked herself.
“Sorry,” Dawn took a breath, “it’s hard to be appreciated when we’re all up in each other’s faces all the time and are so obviously cut from the same cloth, even the Pelletiers. But you,” she gestured towards Nora, “you are so incredible.”
Nora suppressed a wave of irritation.
“And not just from being your dad’s daughter. It’s obvious you get your brains from him, but—“
“My mom is actually the ‘smart one’ in our family,” said Nora.
“Right,” Dawn twirled her braid, “right, she left so long ago, I forgot. I guess you miss her a lot.”
Nora gave a nod.
“But that’s besides the point. You’ve got this energy about you, like if you do nothing for more than an hour, you’ll explode or something.”
“Um, thank you?”
“I mean it as a compliment,” Dawn gripped her knees, “it’s inspiring really. You’re like Mom in that way. A smaller but smarter—“
“Please stop using the word smart like it explains everything,” sighed Nora.
“Sorry. What I’m trying to say is that it’s inspiring the way you can solve any problem.”
“I can’t solve all your problems.”
“You underestimate yourself.”
“You underestimate the world.” Nora looked out the window. All of the Clemsons and Pelletiers underestimated the world.
“Ah, well, anyway,” Dawn leaned forward with her usual assertive demeanor restored. “How is the drawing—I mean designing—going?”
“It’s going pretty well. It’s just that there’s a lot of it to do because it’s so huge, it’ll definitely take a few full days. Which is going to be hard to do with the harvests and dam mini-inspection coming up.”
“When will you be coming back?”
“The usual, in ten days.”
“Can you fit in a few bonus visits?” Dawn got up to add another log to the stove fire.
“Sorry, there is work that needs to be done in the Silverton house too.”
“Maybe I can convince Mom to make it smaller.”
“Please do.”
“Can I see what you have?”
“Sure as long as you promise you don’t copy my answers too exactly.”
“Pinky promise,” said Dawn, laughing.
The two went over to the drafting table.
Nora showed Dawn all of the drawings she had started after which she got back to work while Dawn sat in the armchair and watched until sunset.
“We should get back to the house,” said Dawn looking out the window. “Dinner will be served soon and Mom will start to wonder if we’re late for that.
“Ok, just a second,” Nora hastily scribbled a few notes to herself on her in-progress drawing. “Ok let’s go.”
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